Your brain fart(s) of the day

[Majingir]

Quote: Originally Posted by iwanttodownload

After a few seconds, I realized what stupidity I have done and decided not to get it back.

*Throws plate away*

"Hey! You threw the plate away!"

"I know"

"And...don't you want to get that plate back?"

"No! This is a reminder. Stupidity shouldn't go unpunished."

"Nobody will ever know...."

"I'll know!"

Quote: Originally Posted by Caulfield

I'm notorious 'round these parts for throwing silverware away. I've tried to blame it on the maid for stealing said silverware, problem is we have no maid. and when that was pointed out to me, I said and that's because we had to let her go for taking that silverware. no dice, didn't work

"Why do you have 5 forks, 6 spoons but only 2 knives"

"Um...the maid took it."

"You don't have a maid"

"Exactly"

*Slowly puts the knives away*

[Caulfield]

thought I was going to get in a brouhaha coming out of a local eatery last night. as I approached the door to leave I notice through the glass door another fella about to come in. so in this age of social distancing and out of an abundance of caution I decide to let him go ahead and enter first. but as I await, he stops and apparently does the same. so I go on and try to leave again but this fool decides he'll enter too at the same time. so I wait again but so does he. now I'm just getting mad and start to leave again but instead repeat the same dance with this idiot for another probably ten seconds before I realise the other fella coming in is my reflection.

[Blzer]

Quote: Originally Posted by Caulfield

thought I was going to get in a brouhaha coming out of a local eatery last night. as I approached the door to leave I notice through the glass door another fella about to come in. so in this age of social distancing and out of an abundance of caution I decide to let him go ahead and enter first. but as I await, he stops and apparently does the same. so I go on and try to leave again but this fool decides he'll enter too at the same time. so I wait again but so does he. now I'm just getting mad and start to leave again but instead repeat the same dance with this idiot for another probably ten seconds before I realise the other fella coming in is my reflection.

[Majingir]

Quote: Originally Posted by Caulfield

thought I was going to get in a brouhaha coming out of a local eatery last night. as I approached the door to leave I notice through the glass door another fella about to come in. so in this age of social distancing and out of an abundance of caution I decide to let him go ahead and enter first. but as I await, he stops and apparently does the same. so I go on and try to leave again but this fool decides he'll enter too at the same time. so I wait again but so does he. now I'm just getting mad and start to leave again but instead repeat the same dance with this idiot for another probably ten seconds before I realise the other fella coming in is my reflection.

Quote: Originally Posted by Blzer

https://youtu.be/Nnw2nG4I6I4

[Blzer]

Quote: Originally Posted by Majingir

https://youtu.be/Nnw2nG4I6I4

Yeah, that's a better analogy. I couldn't think up one on the spot, so I just thought of something when it actually is another person, haha.

[Majingir]

*I walk into a store, past a staff member at the entrance*

Them: Would you like a cart?

*I turn around*

Me: No Thanks.

(Turns out they were asking someone else, so I proceeded to continue walking as fast as I could away from them)

[Majingir]

For context, I was expecting a call from my bank today to discuss something I wanted to do.

*Phone rings, caller ID shows my bank*

Person: Hello, may I speak to (name)?

Me: Yes, this is him.

Person: Great. I see that you wanted to speak to us about (banking stuff) today. Let me just pull up your file.......Oh, sorry, I realized I called you (some other name) just now.

Me: Oh.....

A double brain fart. They were calling for me, but called me a different name at the beginning. I was expecting a call, and didn't even bother to realize they called me a different name and just instantly said they're talking to the right person.

[Caulfield]

file this one under TMI:

Spoiler

woke up earlier this morn, still heavily sleep, nowhere near full awake, to tinkle.

waay too sleepy to even stand, so I sit just to tinkle. after about 10-15 seconds I realise my feet are getting soaking wet as I'm putting absolutely nothing in the bowl

that was enough to completely wake me up then lol