How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

[tarheelguy4736]

Quote: Originally Posted by ODogg

Thanks for the support and I am going to try that starting today. I think that will help. It's really difficult feeling isolated. I know it's sort of odd but I cannot wait for football just to feel a part of something again. But I mean it when I say thanks for taking the time to write this. It really helps to know someone that I do not know has the same issues and cares enough about a stranger to spend some of one's own personal time to write out such a thoughtful reply

Of course! The thing I have learned with dealing with all of this, specifically anxiety, is that we are not alone. Everyone deals with it, some more than others. I feel like we are getting to a point in society where it isn't frowned upon to talk about it more, which is a good thing.

I often share my story of struggle with anxiety with people who may be a little reluctant to open up or feel like what they are feeling doesnt matter. Because more times than not, someone is going through or has gone through what you are going through and if I can provide just a small slither of hope or help in anyway, then that is a good thing.

[tarheelguy4736]

I wanted to check in with everyone here on OS to see how people are doing. Just want people hear to know if you need someone to talk to, dont be afraid to reach out.

[ClassActFan]

I struggle. AVIDLY. I don't do well managing it, but people around me (except for my little lady -- she sees through my BS) think otherwise, that I'm cooler than a cucumber outside, but truthfully, it's more shakey than Marc Bulger trying to stand in the pocket for the 2008 STL Rams.

Real talk. I went back to school in the mid-2010s and it was tough to learn how to become a student again, but all was well. In November 2018, exactly a month before graduation and just a few days before having to take my degree assessment exam, on top of two 15-page papers being due for two respective classes, my mother had a stroke, which was one of the scariest moments of my life when she called me at 7pm and said, "I can't move." I asked, "What do you mean?" and she told me she could not move her legs or get out of bed.

I went over there, and because the door was locked, I had to break into my old childhood home to get to her. Promptly called for an ambulance. She was in the hospital for 18 days, missing Thanksgiving. I hosted the family Thanksgiving that year on top of the schoolwork, in between writing the papers and seeing my mom while she was in the hospital daily, and it took its toll on me.

Everybody thought I was doing great. Truth is, in the months prior to this, I had started using nicotine gum to help with my studying and paperwriting sessions on top of working to get my focus right and to fight fatigue. At first, it was OK. I used about 2mg once a week, but after my mother's stroke, it spiraled into several 8mg nicotine pouches a day, which I have never kicked and still cannot kick today. They are a crutch for anxiety now. Do not start them. They were a great nootropic, especially with caffeine, for studying way back when, but once I started chasing the dragon, it was over.

I know, that's a mild thing, but it's annoying to be beholden to anything in this life.

Anyway, a lot of crap went down as the years ensued. Mom never regained full feeling of one of her feet and has had to rely on a walker ever since. My aunt, her sister who is like a second mother to me, had a heart attack in 2019 and then a diverticulitis infection that went septic; in 2021 the same aunt was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer -- she has since beat the cancer, for now, but we nearly lost her a few months ago from pneumonia + a UTI that went septic. She has been on oxygen since.

The anxiety ramped up during the pandemic because I was deathly afraid of them getting COVID. They did, eventually, both of them at the same time in June 2022. My aunt's blood pressure dropped big time and fell in her home. THANK GOODNESS her grandson was over there (a walking distance away from here) and called me. We got an ambulance for her.

As for my mom, she is now in the early stages of dementia. She has more good days than bad days for now, but it does hurt to see that she is already a shell of who she used to be. My strong mother, who used to love to go outside and was into gardening, who loved to travel, who loved to read and laugh and cook dinners for the family... she does none of that. Well... a little bit of traveling but she can't handle much. She'll read but struggles to retain the information.

It hurts already and I dread the future, but as of right now I cherish every moment.

I'm a caregiver now. That's how I got back into gaming after the better part of a decade away. My wife is a saint for doing all that she does. She got me a Series X last year to deal with the stress, and it's helped.

I had general anxiety over random things before 2018, but usually, these days, I feel so much dread. Like an undercurrent of dread, like something awful is always on the horizon, after these past five years of seemingly everything going wrong.

I'm constantly second guessing myself on whether I'm doing enough, if I could be doing more. I know I'm just fighting the inevitable regarding my 72-year-old mother, but I have her take both Vitamin B complex and chelated magnesium glycinate for her mind in addition to her medicine, just in hopes she continues to enjoy her life, because she still has so much life right now. She loves Yellowstone and seeing the rabbits run around our yard. And ice cream from a local shop. And food. And George freakin' Clooney LMAO.

I have an addictive personality. My dad is my hero, but he was an alcoholic. He died from cirrhosis 20 years ago. He simply could not go a day without drinking, but he is forever my hero because he gave his all for the family and was always present in my life despite owning a business and working tirelessly. I digress. I only drink socially, which is only 6-8 times a year, because I don't want to ever fall into that trap.

Ahh.... rambling my life story on a forum that I joined nearly 20 years ago to talk about video games. Sorry. If you read this far, thank you. Just venting. I'm grateful for all the good things in life. Truly. But my biggest fight is that, "what's terrible that is going to happen next?" feeling. So ever-present.

Much love to all you guys fighting the good fight.

[l3ulvl]

I don't really have anything to chip in, but thank you for sharing best wishes on all fronts

[ODogg]

Quote: Originally Posted by ClassActFan

I struggle. AVIDLY. I don't do well managing it, but people around me (except for my little lady -- she sees through my BS) think otherwise, that I'm cooler than a cucumber outside, but truthfully, it's more shakey than Marc Bulger trying to stand in the pocket for the 2008 STL Rams. Real talk. I went back to school in the mid-2010s and it was tough to learn how to become a student again, but all was well. In November 2018, exactly a month before graduation and just a few days before having to take my degree assessment exam, on top of two 15-page papers being due for two respective classes, my mother had a stroke, which was one of the scariest moments of my life when she called me at 7pm and said, "I can't move." I asked, "What do you mean?" and she told me she could not move her legs or get out of bed. I went over there, and because the door was locked, I had to break into my old childhood home to get to her. Promptly called for an ambulance. She was in the hospital for 18 days, missing Thanksgiving. I hosted the family Thanksgiving that year on top of the schoolwork, in between writing the papers and seeing my mom while she was in the hospital daily, and it took its toll on me. Everybody thought I was doing great. Truth is, in the months prior to this, I had started using nicotine gum to help with my studying and paperwriting sessions on top of working to get my focus right and to fight fatigue. At first, it was OK. I used about 2mg once a week, but after my mother's stroke, it spiraled into several 8mg nicotine pouches a day, which I have never kicked and still cannot kick today. They are a crutch for anxiety now. Do not start them. They were a great nootropic, especially with caffeine, for studying way back when, but once I started chasing the dragon, it was over. I know, that's a mild thing, but it's annoying to be beholden to anything in this life. Anyway, a lot of crap went down as the years ensued. Mom never regained full feeling of one of her feet and has had to rely on a walker ever since. My aunt, her sister who is like a second mother to me, had a heart attack in 2019 and then a diverticulitis infection that went septic; in 2021 the same aunt was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer -- she has since beat the cancer, for now, but we nearly lost her a few months ago from pneumonia + a UTI that went septic. She has been on oxygen since. The anxiety ramped up during the pandemic because I was deathly afraid of them getting COVID. They did, eventually, both of them at the same time in June 2022. My aunt's blood pressure dropped big time and fell in her home. THANK GOODNESS her grandson was over there (a walking distance away from here) and called me. We got an ambulance for her. As for my mom, she is now in the early stages of dementia. She has more good days than bad days for now, but it does hurt to see that she is already a shell of who she used to be. My strong mother, who used to love to go outside and was into gardening, who loved to travel, who loved to read and laugh and cook dinners for the family... she does none of that. Well... a little bit of traveling but she can't handle much. She'll read but struggles to retain the information. It hurts already and I dread the future, but as of right now I cherish every moment. I'm a caregiver now. That's how I got back into gaming after the better part of a decade away. My wife is a saint for doing all that she does. She got me a Series X last year to deal with the stress, and it's helped. I had general anxiety over random things before 2018, but usually, these days, I feel so much dread. Like an undercurrent of dread, like something awful is always on the horizon, after these past five years of seemingly everything going wrong. I'm constantly second guessing myself on whether I'm doing enough, if I could be doing more. I know I'm just fighting the inevitable regarding my 72-year-old mother, but I have her take both Vitamin B complex and chelated magnesium glycinate for her mind in addition to her medicine, just in hopes she continues to enjoy her life, because she still has so much life right now. She loves Yellowstone and seeing the rabbits run around our yard. And ice cream from a local shop. And food. And George freakin' Clooney LMAO. I have an addictive personality. My dad is my hero, but he was an alcoholic. He died from cirrhosis 20 years ago. He simply could not go a day without drinking, but he is forever my hero because he gave his all for the family and was always present in my life despite owning a business and working tirelessly. I digress. I only drink socially, which is only 6-8 times a year, because I don't want to ever fall into that trap. Ahh.... rambling my life story on a forum that I joined nearly 20 years ago to talk about video games. Sorry. If you read this far, thank you. Just venting. I'm grateful for all the good things in life. Truly. But my biggest fight is that, "what's terrible that is going to happen next?" feeling. So ever-present. Much love to all you guys fighting the good fight.

May I suggest you see if you can see a psychotherapist? This is what has helped me so much. It's weird to recommend a therapist to folks because it typically is done in sort of an insulting way "Get a therapist!!" but I mean it in a positive way because much of what you have on your plate, the addictions, the second guessing your choices, the regret maybe of something that has yet to happen...all of it, can be managed with techniques to give you peace of mind.

With peace of mind on your main issues, your family's health issues, COVID, the addiction of nicotine gum, will lessen and with that pressure going down so too will you find that other, every day frustrations at your job, with your significant other, etc will considerably go down in terms of anxiety.

Another thing I can recommend to you is something called The Power of Now. Look it up as an audio book or a regular book you read (people still read books??) as it is a Buddhist approach to simply trying to enjoy the moment.

And by that I mean, visit with your mom and truly just enjoy being with her having a simple lunch. Not worrying about the past, did you do the right thing that one time, did you react correctly, etc, etc and not focusing either on the future as in her health is getting worse, when will she not recognize me, etc etc.

The ability to live in the present moment, even during a bad time, and enjoy life's simple pleasures of now, you will find an amazing release from the stress of second guessing your past (this was a MAJOR issue with me) and dreading a future in which people get sick, die or just, in general terrible things COULD happen. Living in the now frees you from this burden of the past and the future.

You will, hopefully, find that your addictions, even without specifically addressing them, whether its your gum, video games, exercise or whatever you may lean on to help with your mental health, will lessen on their own. And then when you find specific techniques to deal with, and conquer your addiction that is your go-to (in this case the nicotine is probably your primary) then it will not be quite as difficult when your mental health is better.

Humans have always managed by trying to learn from our mistakes in the past, so that we can make better the future. That leads us to the illusion of control in our lives that we do not have. We cannot change the past and many times when we find that we are dwelling on it, that is why we are doing so, we want to change what we did, or maybe didn't do. And we cannot predict the future either, and so we tend to focus on all the horrible things that could happen and the reason is, we think we can change those things.

Yes, sometimes we can change those things, but often we cannot. Like for dementia we can only do so much but we cannot climb a mountain or run a race and defeat it. It stresses us out incredibly that we are not able to do that and so we have a large burden of anxiety.

To accept that you cannot change some things, such as your mother's health, will lead you to feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety because, whether you realize it or not, you believe in your mind that if only you did x, y and z for her that you could lessen her burden and solve her problems.

Accepting that you cannot, is something most folks don't want to do because it may be interpreted by others as you not caring. I've experienced this myself when something happens, or is happening and my wife will ask me what I think and I say that I find it unfortunate but we cannot change this. Now she doesn't say it but I think it "oh my she thinks I do not care"

This is an internal voice of guilt, that you feel guilty because you cannot change what is not changeable. It is unfortunate but this is the root of most of our anxiety, at least I believe. Learning to accept what you cannot change and just trying to live to the best of your ability may seem like, to you, that others may interpret your lack of worry or anxiety as not caring. It is not, it is caring for yourself and those around you by being the best that you can be considering the circumstances.

If you can learn to do this, not wonder about the past, not second guess yourself, and not dwell on a future filled with the worst things you can think of, you can enjoy life with your mom now much more and then, down the road, in the future, you can look back and say, man we really did a lot of wonderful things and had a lot of fun together and you will not have regrets!

This is my advice, I don't know about your religion or views on God or anything like that, so don't take my advice about exploring Buddism as a way to explore yet another religion or whatnot, because it is as much a philosophy as anything else. In fact, that's what appeals to me is that it is free from any type of religious thought and instead chooses to focus on appreciating life and the miracle of living right now in the moment.

I admire your strength for pulling through as you have, for a lot that has happened in a short time. This is why I have spent the time to type this freakin' mini novel in an attempt to help you in any way that I can, having learned from my serious mental health issues, I know there is a way out of the terrible, terrible burden of mental health crusing anxiety and addiction and how those things can affect your life. It doesn't have to be that way!

[bdbjdfsbjds]

For me, deep breathing and mindfulness exercises always did wonders. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, I'd pause, take deep breaths, and really focus on the present moment. It might sound simple, but it does require practice to master.

I got that tip from a therapist who helped me to overcome my anxiety problems. I went for individual counseling in NYC, where my therapist introduced me to various exercises, like guided visualization, where I'd imagine being in a calm place, and grounding exercises that required focusing on my senses. We'd also dissect some triggering moments and find healthier ways to react.

[ODogg]

I am discussing my third ketamine treatment here on my stream from last night, thought I would share, it's been a very helpful treatment for me so far for treatment resistant anxiety & depression

[nicolasgarcia]

Deep breathing and mindfulness exercises are definitely game-changers, aren't they? I've found similar solace in those practices too. It's amazing how something as simple as focusing on your breath can bring you back to the present moment and ease those overwhelming feelings.