How do you guys pro-actively manage anxiety?

[dickey1331]

I just deal with it and learn to live with it. I dont really do anything. Frog boy is kinda how I deal with it. I deal with it by doing nothing. Essentially stopped caring.

[EUBlink]

While ignoring it or dealing with it may seem like a perfectly acceptable response, and for one that handles anxiety and stress like this, perhaps that is an acceptable response for the time being, but the overwhelming majority of people, at some point in their lives, will experience anxiety that cannot be simply ignored or dealt with as has been discussed when talking about dealing with it by just dealing with it.

Anxiety and stress, when ignored, can lead to serious health issues later down the road such as, but certainly not limited to, depression, insomnia, gastrointestinal problems as well as the possibility of the anxiety triggering the onset of other mental health issues or disorders.

Basically, I respect that some people can deal with anxiety easier than others, but not everyone can and, as our society has evolved/devolved socially, many more are now dealing with chronic anxiety, which is a tell-tale for developing generalized anxiety disorders and beyond.

Study the mind. Our brains are so intimidating to really study at first but once you start finding ways to trick your own brain to control or manage stress, make it easier to learn, learn to read faster and retain written text or audio lessons better than before, and all of this without the need for any additional medication than your daily regimen, you can really open the door to a multitude of possibilities toward improving your own life and other lives around you... just by learning about your own mind and how to better control it.

Just my two cents on handling anxiety just by assuming it will always go away. There may, and likely will, come a day that your brain just doesn't flip the switch like it did before, and having techniques to better deal with situations before they begin will make you appreciate having the ability to do so.

[l3ulvl]

Even when I get advice from experts I'm like "but what if..."


The "but what if" is my killer. Even when they have extra help I always have "yeah but what if" in response to everything, and they can't really help. They try, but when you're in your own head to the extreme, you can't just force it to work. It's frustrating


I had a therapist help me with easy stuff, and I struggled with that, like, maintenance needed to come over and check smoke alarm batteries. Easy peasy right? My mind can't handle it, they gave an 8 hour window of when they'd come up over. What if they come over when I'm going to the bathroom? what if I fart and it stinks and they come over right after? What if I'm asleep and wake up with a boner and have to answer the door like that? Therapist suggested I wake up and squeeze ice cubes, it'll switch the focus in my body because of all the nerve endings in my palms. My response of course "but what if they shake my hand?"

[Caulfield]

Quote: Originally Posted by l3ulvl

Even when I get advice from experts I'm like "but what if..." The "but what if" is my killer. Even when they have extra help I always have "yeah but what if" in response to everything, and they can't really help. They try, but when you're in your own head to the extreme, you can't just force it to work. It's frustrating I had a therapist help me with easy stuff, and I struggled with that, like, maintenance needed to come over and check smoke alarm batteries. Easy peasy right? My mind can't handle it, they gave an 8 hour window of when they'd come up over. What if they come over when I'm going to the bathroom? what if I fart and it stinks and they come over right after? What if I'm asleep and wake up with a boner and have to answer the door like that? Therapist suggested I wake up and squeeze ice cubes, it'll switch the focus in my body because of all the nerve endings in my palms. My response of course "but what if they shake my hand?"

*fist bump*
if covid taught us anything, it's that

[EUBlink]

Quote: Originally Posted by l3ulvl

Even when I get advice from experts I'm like "but what if..." The "but what if" is my killer. Even when they have extra help I always have "yeah but what if" in response to everything, and they can't really help. They try, but when you're in your own head to the extreme, you can't just force it to work. It's frustrating I had a therapist help me with easy stuff, and I struggled with that, like, maintenance needed to come over and check smoke alarm batteries. Easy peasy right? My mind can't handle it, they gave an 8 hour window of when they'd come up over. What if they come over when I'm going to the bathroom? what if I fart and it stinks and they come over right after? What if I'm asleep and wake up with a boner and have to answer the door like that? Therapist suggested I wake up and squeeze ice cubes, it'll switch the focus in my body because of all the nerve endings in my palms. My response of course "but what if they shake my hand?"

This may sound silly, but hear me out.

When you go through the “What if?” scenarios mentally, do you answer the question or just try to ignore the urge and move on? You may find that pushing yourself to answer each and every “What if?” with a reasonable response, it may help you curb the impulse to ask yourself that question.

Also, our brains are devices of habit. When you wake up each day, try saying, out loud, something along the lines of, “Today, I won’t concern myself with the “What if?”, but will approach each step by living only in that moment alone.” If you repeat the same sentence to yourself one or multiple times every single day, you may also find that you are training your mind to be more at ease. It’s really not much different than having a cup of coffee or a cigarette or even just reading the news when you wake up daily, as your mind will establish that repeated process and you will create a controlled, healthier habit within your own brain.

[ODogg]

I thought I had a fairly good handle on things but then when trying to make plans for Thanksgiving I got into it with my mom, who refused to go to my dad's house for Thanksgiving (they invited her) but demanded that after the party I bring her a plate.

I told her that my plans were to visit her first, hang out, then go to my dads, and I couldn't bring her a plate afterwards as it'd be too late at night and I had a 3 hour drive home. I recommended she get a turkey dinner or something from the store or a local restaurant (I mean it's just food in my view, the important thing is seeing family & friends) but she wouldn't accept it and kept begging me and my wife to travel 2 hours out of our way to bring her a plate of turkey and stuff.

I got frustrated by all the back and forth and just canceled the entire trip. Now I will be making my own Thanksgiving meal for my wife and I at home.

It's frustrating as I feel I have a pretty good handle on most things, but I just can't deal with my family and how they act around the holidays. Makes me really think my wife and I need to move away sooner rather than later, as we've been planning.

Now that everything has been canceled and I won't be seeing anyone, the reality is it's sort of hitting me that I'm pretty much on my own, as I have been most of my life and only have my wife as an anchor in my life and that realization is pretty disheartening.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful to have my wife but it's still disappointing to think that at age 52 all I really have in my life really is one person.. And I just don't know, or even if, I can deal with/interact with my family, or even if they are worth the time or not of thinking about any further.

I think what also makes it depressing is that despite all the therapy and years of working on myself, nothing at all seems changed with how my family act and interact with me and it's looking like nothing ever will either.

[countryboy]

Why not still go to your Dads and enjoy Thanksgiving with the family and friends that are there? If your Mom doesn't want to accept the invite, then that's her issue to deal with, not yours. I know she's demanding you bring her plate, but tell her no and enjoy yourself at your Dads house.

[ODogg]

Quote: Originally Posted by countryboy

Why not still go to your Dads and enjoy Thanksgiving with the family and friends that are there? If your Mom doesn't want to accept the invite, then that's her issue to deal with, not yours. I know she's demanding you bring her plate, but tell her no and enjoy yourself at your Dads house.

Yeah that's what my older sister said but then my mom would be mad at me for going down there (it's about 5 hours or so round trip) and not visiting her. I did consider doing this but my wife thought it best we just not go to not cause grief.