The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

[ODogg]

I'm a computer guy, have been since about 1988 (I am 52 years old). So I immediately signed up for Twitter, Facebook, all the popular sites, as soon as they became available.

I thought, this is fantastic, a great way to share our lives and communicate with one another!

Sadly, through therapy with a very good therapist I have come to realize that a lot of my anxiety and feeling horrible about myself was due to my online social media.

Now some people would quit, but I didn't want to quit. I wanted to attempt to find a way to continue to use those accounts but not let them cause me undue stress and anxiety.

For years I have debated with folks about religion, politics, games, sports teams, you name it. But through therapy I realized there was no real debate going on. There's only me putting out my opinions and seeing if others share them. In other words, looking for VALIDATION of my opinions.

And those people shredding me, ripping me apart, or trying to, online? They are searching for that same validation.

None of us will ever get it.

I truly realized this and vowed I could learn to use Facebook and Twitter with one simple rule:

Only be nice to people, even those who attack me.

Surprisingly it has worked far better than I could ever expect. If I see something I disagree with I usually do not weigh in, if I choose to do so then I do it in a POSITIVE way.

My one main goal is to make all those who I interact with have a better day.

At first it was sort of hard, but after doing this now for about two weeks or so I find it quite easy. And unlike before, I no longer feel anxious to see what others may have to say back to me. Instead I am not worried about any replies and the ones I do see are almost always people thanking me or actually making me feel like I did something nice and in turn, makes me feel better about myself.

I know some folks may not like, or want to do this. But at age 52, and having been a former foster parent to a very troubled child who was addicted to social media, I am far more aware of the damage that social media can do to ones psyche.

As an adult with anxiety I didn't realize so much of it came from it. Now I do.

I beg of all of you who read this to try to do the same. We have been handed these wonderful tools and we tend to really abuse them. I don't think the answer is, like many say, well just leave Facebook, just leave Twitter.

The answer, in my view, is to learn to regulate your own behavior and just seek to improve others day, one day at a time.

Thoughts?

[Ghost Of The Year]

I'm 52 to, I realized back in 2000 the Internet is toxic. Moderation in all things, as good advice as one gets.

[ODogg]

Quote: Originally Posted by Ghost Of The Year

I'm 52 to, I realized back in 2000 the Internet is toxic. Moderation in all things, as good advice as one gets.

Yeah I realized this about a year ago, that I was sort of feeling more anxious when using social media. So I spoke to my therapist about it and in just a few sentences she made a point I hadn't realized. That you will reap what you sow in regards to how you present yourself.

Foolishly I thought making competent, logical arguments would yield good debate. Not really the case at all most of the time.

[DamnYanks2]

Social media is trash and has led to a decline in the moral fiber of society. People say stuff online they wouldn't say in reality to someone. Social media is more fantasy then reality and I was a much happier person when I got rid of it.

And unlike OS. Most of these sites are poorly moderated. But you don't realize all of this until you get older. Some of these sites helped me get laid but that's all they were good for.

Once I hit 30 I got sick of hearing all the drama and nonsense people post. It's just not a good idea to have a gateway to where people post their every emotion and current feelings and everyone can see it.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

[Master Live 013]

Well, the answer for me was indeed leaving (Facebook). Similar feelings of anxiety as you describe and deactivating my FB account was a good decision for me, such a weight lifted from my shoulders. This was at least 5 years ago, closer to 10 I would say.

I still remain on Twitter, which is a good source of news if you know what you are doing. Social media is tool, be mindful of how you use it, control it and don’t let it control you.

And yes, people say stuff to each other on the internet that they wouldn’t dare say in real life. I would like to believe that people can see how that can be a good thing in certain contexts. Like speaking truth to power and/or just “need(ing) to say what needed to be said”. That’s not always the case (understatement), there is abuse/trolling/harassment, but that’s what the block button (among other things) is for.




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[Jr.]

Watch The Social Dilemma. It goes through the impact of social media very well.


Sent from my SM-G970U using Operation Sports mobile app

[ODogg]

Quote: Originally Posted by Jr.

Watch The Social Dilemma. It goes through the impact of social media very well. Sent from my SM-G970U using Operation Sports mobile app

OH yeah! We watched that and HOLY COW! We had a foster teen girl at the time who was severely addicted to social media so that is why we watched it.

That movie was the first inkling to me that maybe it was affecting me as well. But it wasn't until I got a psychotherapist to try to get to the root of my severe anxiety that I figured out that maybe 30% of my anxiety or so was from social media.

I've only been doing what I said, only being nice to folks and not posting anything other than cat pics or food pics (LOL) for a couple of weeks now but so much less anxiety going to Facebook and not seeing any horrible attacks!!

[baumy300]

First off, congratulations on breaking the conditioning ODogg. Not everyone can, does, or even wants to. That's a big first step. Even though it is hard to top DamnYanks post, I will build off it.


For starters, I don't even like you ODogg, but now I respect you, and I would rather be respected than liked every time. It takes balls to admit what you did. So now I feel obligated to respond. It sounds like you have realized the true purpose of the disease we know as social media, which is simply here for no other reason than to emasculate you and create a dopamine loop that feeds off of approval and words of affirmation by strangers you don't even know. This conditions you to accept and participate in group think or the "current thing" in a desperate attempt to conform or fit in. We seek those likes or small confirmations from others to reassure ourselves we believe the right things and act the right way, because we are either insecure or lacking the confidence to go against the grain for no other purpose than it doesn't fit our perception of X topic.


It's okay, it's not you just or anyone else, I've been there too. Sometimes you need to be. If you've ever been interested in a girl, maybe even a few, and start sniffin their *** a little you will realize you almost always need some form of social media presence. If you don't have one, they think you are weird or a catfish if you're using an app, so you have to post on Snapchat or Facebook, maybe take a selfie or gym pic just to play their game, even if you hate it. It gets us all, so there is no shame in admitting it. There is only shame in denying it and continuing.


So these girls, these e-thots, they drive social media. They got grown men making TikToks or other videos behaving like pathetic tryhards just for attention. Grown men ODogg, acting like pathetic husks of a person, all to try and earn some superficial attention from strangers so they can feel better about themselves until the next hour when they need more attention but can't top their last production. Imagine the low value one must have to continue this behavior, and the way they present themselves to the world like a beggar, clamoring for affection. Our ancestors used to be warriors and hunters, now we have been reduced to a virtual serf class hunting for likes, comments, and kind words to fill our shallow sense of worth. But not you bro, not now, not anymore. You see the toxic feedback loop that is designed to illicit these kinds of feelings.


Don't believe me? There is a video out there of the guy who owns/owned the Warriors. He used to be a big part of Facebook and talks about how they designed it to exploit us and our feelings, showing us only the highlights of other peoples fake/cherry picked lives for no other reason than to manipulate or control how we feel. In short, it can mess with you if you use it and let it. And don't even get me started with what social media has done to relationships...


People now live their entire lives around social media, and we all know a few. People who will tell you they love to hike, so you drive an hour to a trail and they're literally 2-3 minutes in before wanting to take a picture and leave. I've had this happen more than once, and I realized it's not about a hike or the experience, it's about making people think you hiked and had an experience, and about the attention and reaffirmation you can get like "OMG BEAUTIFUL YOU LOOK SO CUTE OUT IN THE WOODS IN YOUR LITTLE OUTFIT!!! XOXOXO" or their DM's blow up with "Ayye girl you lookin good, hit me up after that hike bb". That's trash ODogg, that's trash and that's our newfound culture. We are a weak era of people with too many insecurities and self doubt problems that either never existed or exploded in the last decade. But not you, you get it now. You can only fix something when you recognize it, and many don't have the courage to face it, let alone fix it. But not you.


Don't ever look back, and don't miss the laughable virtue signaling and desperate pleas for attention by our peers. Pity them, but do not emulate them, for they are slaves to a system. They are not a free people like you are today ODogg, their shackles are still bound. If you are going to keep a social media account, use it as a joke like I do. I used to have a Twitter and even got a DM from Lenny Dykstra after a while and we started talking more. I did get perma-nuked though after we made fun of Liz Cheney and Nancy Pelosi like a couple of savages but Uncle Lenny came out unscathed and that's what counts.



In short, social media is truly the worst thing to ever have happened to this world. It really is, and I won't go down that rabbit hole, but it is here only to make our lives worse. We can argue if that is on purpose or not (it is) but at the end of the day it doesn't matter because the results are the same either way. Social media serves to demoralize us, to bring us down, and that is a stated fact. Never forget this.



So here's what you do bro. You go out and you reclaim your manhood. You go and buy a gun, and learn to shoot it. You need to feel dangerous, like a man, so you believe it deep down. Doing so will subconsciously force others to see you as such, and respect you more for it. if you can't get a gun, learn to box. Even if you can get a gun, still learn to box. You don't have to spar, but learn to throw hands. You also get to the gym and you start focusing on building discipline and your body, so you can build yourself up inside and outside. You are free as of now, you have taken the first step into seeing past the curtains, which starts with social media. You are 52, so you are almost guaranteed to be losing testosterone, which is normal. Start taking the over the counter pills, 4 a day, to give you a boost, and start shaping who you are, which is not an NPC influenced by everyone elses opinion, but rather your own beliefs. Be grateful you are awake and coming to terms with the fraud that has been perpetrated on us by big tech. You might think I'm joking, but I'm being dead serious. Masculinity is sacred, and you are sacred. Don't dishonor yourself, better yourself.



Go for it ODogg, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I want to see you improve in everything you do, and hit the gym like a madman, building your confidence to the point that hopefully someday my girl walks in and says "Sorry baumy, but things aren't working out. Besides, I'm ODogg's little slam piggy now". That's what I want to see bro, I want you to continue your enlightenment and fight for yourself because you're worth it.



We get one shot my dude, so even though we can't change our fate, we can rise to meet it.


Now get out there and thank God you have been reborn aware, and hold your head high, because you have earned it. You are on the first step of an incredible journey, so go take back everything you feel was lost and never doubt yourself again you marvelous son of a *****.


You're free now, you got this.