Originally Posted by molson
Assuming everything in the article is true (and who the hell knows), Aziz falls comfortably somewhere between considerate human behavior and Harvey Weinstein.
Stories like and the reaction to them really make you wonder if this is the norm. I've probably underestimated exactly how much shit women put up with they're dating.
As a man, if your general primary goal is to get laid, you're aggressive as possible in obtaining that, and nothing is going to stop your attempts except a firm verbal denial, you will probably stay on the right side of the law. But you're not a good person and you certainly don't respect women.
I wonder, how much is this the norm, and how much is a symptom of celebrity. Harvey Weinstein even said on the audio recording where he was trying to rape that model - he's used to getting what he wants. I wonder if a celebrity like Ansari, (or just other good looking young guys who get laid a lot), are just so used to getting what they want sexually that they really don't pick up on cues, or, they have just a line in their head and until they hear that from the woman, it's full speed ahead.
The Ansari thing sounds like a step beyond mere not recognizing cues though. Putting your fingers down a woman's throat and then immediately groping her sounds like a deliberate technique - surprise a woman with something strange and physical jarring, and then immediately grope her, and there's a few seconds before she really grasps what you're doing, so she's less likely to resist. Also, pulling a woman's hand towards your dick after she pulls it away several times? Escalating the sexual contact after she verbalizes that she wants to take things more slowly? He's a creep.
But the defenses of the behavior I'm reading make wonder, maybe this is the norm. Maybe this is truly what is expected from men and this is morally OK at this point in time, in this country, in 2017. If so, I wonder if we've kind of regressed over the last 20 years. I remember my college orientation stuff 20 years ago. The lesson wasn't "no means no," because, no shit, everyone knows that. The lesson was more about respecting other people, and erring on the side of sexual constraint until the consent is actually clear. In my own mind, I was so terrified of hearing that firm "no", because that meant I already went too far. And something's been really lost in the courtship process if this really is the norm now. It is possible to hit a woman, to her her know your feelings and intentions, without groping them, sticking your fingers down their throat, or pulling their hand towards your dick.
If things are going well in the conversation portion of the evening, a little non-sexual physical contact can go a long way to letting you know what the other person is really up for. When you just immediately go to groping and sexual touching, it's true, some less-than-confident women are going to be overwhelmed and aren't going to verbally or physically resist. But if that's the goal, and all you care about is not committing rape, I guess you're good to go and I guess that's why lack of confidence actually becomes a desirable trait in a woman.
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